


AUs

by poorapothecaries (wanderlustnostalgia)



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), PVRIS (Band), Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Journalism, Alternate Universe - Leverage Fusion, Alternate Universe - Showbusiness, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Tangled (2010) Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cameos, Cancer, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I am so sorry, M/M, Multi, Notfic, Road Trips, Sick Character, Sickfic, all the aus, and i mean ALL the aus, i am not kind to patrick, muppets references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlustnostalgia/pseuds/poorapothecaries
Summary: a purgatory for ideas.(or, the wait-list for all my AUs)





	1. drunk on rosewater // angel/reaper au (peterick)

**Author's Note:**

> I have this posted on Wattpad but y'know why not post it here

_There's a rule all the immortals abide by—not a written one, exactly, but an unspoken one, one of those things you **just don't do.**  You don't dance on gravestones. You don't steal from churches. And if you're an immortal, be it angel or demon or reaper or what-have-you, you don't fall in love. That is a thing you do not do—not because you know what the consequences are, but because you  **don't.**_

_Pete will break this rule exactly seven hundred and thirty days from his first day as a reaper, two years from when he awoke bathed in the neon-red glow of the Devil's chambers and kissed the ring that sealed his fate forever, bound him to Hades for all of eternity. It will be the first rule he ever breaks._

_(It will not be the last.)_

 

pete's a reaper (not a demon) which basically means he collects the souls of the dead and brings them to the afterlife.  patrick's an angel.  angels get the fun job of singing to the deceased, which eases the transition from the world of the living to the world of the dead and all that good spiritual stuff.

pete and patrick basically get assigned the same soul one day, pete shows up to collect while patrick's singing and *peterick cliche #1* is totally spellbound by his singing.

so patrick gets all flustered and flies off, but pete (being pete) is determined to see him again and they end up running into each other a few more times until pete finally says "okay enough" and catches patrick right as he's about to fly off.  patrick's reluctant at first but they eventually hit it off due to a mutual love of music and an shared yearning for something beyond the spoils of paradise and pete falls harder and harder and patrick starts to fall too.

except.

_immortals can't fall in love._

it's one of those unspoken rules and nobody really knows why but they just don't do it.  and pete tries and patrick tries and they're both like  _we shouldn't we shouldn't_  but eventually they give into temptation and keep sneaking off into hidden corners to make out (but pg cuz i can't write smut oops) and indulge in their forbidden love.

and then all hell breaks loose (literally) and angst ensues.

(also elton john is god and tommy lee is satan just like in ybc canon and they have a history! that is alluded to but never directly addressed bc i love doing stuff like that)

 


	2. all together now // high school au (multiship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's actually kind of embarrassing but I had to

_The first time Patrick Stump meets Pete Wentz—like, **really**  meets Pete Wentz, not just glimpses him in the hallway or hears about whatever teacher he's terrorized lately with his shenanigans—is in the middle of his French test._

_He wishes he could say he was actually taking his French test. He's not. He's not even in class at the moment—he's in a bathroom stall with a wad of tissue paper held to his nose, trying to staunch the flow of blood coming from his nostrils. Because of all the times for blood to start gushing out of his nose, of course it has to be in the middle of his **fucking**  French test. And of all the reasons to skip French class—honestly, he's not sure whether he's relieved or pissed that Joe didn't have Kleenex. On the one hand, French is fucking boring, but on the other...that test is worth a hundred points, and he has a B- in the class. Damnit, Joe._

_The nosebleeds are a relatively new (and, frankly, obnoxious) occurrence, having started up when he moved out to San Francisco the summer before freshman year. As similarly, excruciatingly hot as both San Francisco and Chicago summers can be, at least in Chicago, there's **moisture**  in the air. Out in California—end of drought status be damned, it's still  **fucking dry out here.**_

_Suffice it to say, things were better when he lived in Chicago. Less heat, more snow, and **no fucking nosebleeds.**_

_"You're from Chicago?" says a braying voice from the stall next to him. "Dude, me too!"_

_Patrick flushes and groans internally. As if being stuck in a dingy, vaguely smelly stall for the next fifteen or so minutes weren't bad enough—apparently a) he not only said his whole monologue/rant about California versus Chicago and the goddamn nosebleed dilemma out loud, but also b) some asshole was actually **listening,**  and well—that's just fucking embarrassing._

_"Mind your own damn business," he mumbles, a bit nasal given his current situation. He pulls the tissue away from his nose and grimaces at the large, dark red puddle that permeates it, then finds a relatively untouched spot and dabs his nose. It comes away still red but not quite so dark. Progress, he thinks darkly._

_"Shit, sorry, man. Hehe. Shit. Get it, like we're in a bathroom?" Patrick sighs and rubs at his eyes with his not-bloody hand. "Just trying to make conversation, y'know? I know, like, no other people from Chicago who go here. There's like, that one kid from fuckin' Paraguay and those two brothers from Jersey or some shit, but like, no Chicago people. Who am I supposed to watch Cubs games with? Not Gabe fucking Saporta, lemme tell you."_

 

ugh yes i know it's been done to death but  _lynn and halsey,_ dudes.

(this is highkey a plea for more pvris fic please pvris is adorable i love them so much??)

and yes i'm aware that the snippet i posted is a peterick snippet but lynn and halsey exist in this universe too!!  and they are equally awesome.

so the gist of it is they go to high school together.

(that's it.  that's the fic.)

and there's humor (ryan threatening to dump brendon over his meme-iness) but also drama (because since when do i write anything other than angst for bandom haha) with pete being sad and lynn being jealous and all kinds of other shenanigans and it'd be great, guys,  _trust me._


	3. out there where they glow // tangled au (ryden)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write this over the summer but I gave up oops

_In another life, Ryan might have been a bard._

_He has a guitar (not quite a lute, but better-sounding, and easier on the eyes—a modern instrument for modern times), and while his voice is nothing special to listen to, he does consider himself in possession of a fair way of words, if he does say so himself. At the orphanage, when all the smaller children had gone to bed and the nuns had retreated to the convent for the night, he would stuff pillows under the covers of his bunk and hide underneath with a candle and a quill pen stolen from the director's office, and he would write. He would write, scrawling in messy handwriting with sloppy, haphazard punctuation and inkblots spattered across the pages of his leather-bound journal, staining his hands with spots and smudges of black. In the mornings they frowned upon his fantasies, saddling him with such chores as cleaning and tutoring and looking after the young ones; night was his escape, his opportunity to let the words that swirled in his mind on a constant loop each day filter from him through the nib of a pen._

_If Ryan had been able to amount to anything—had any sort of talent in any shape or form, really—it would have been in his words. Even now, when he lies in his makeshift forest shelter in the trees under the cover of darkness, he contemplates the words, and wonders whether he could have put them to use._

_But it is a useless thought, an idle fantasy. There is no money in music anymore, no profit in poetry—not since the kingdom of Summerlin turned its attention to business and trade, making its fortune through the sales and exchange of luxury goods and abundant crops. Music became a useless frivolity, a banal, inconsequential way to pass the time; with traders came books, far more convenient and significantly less of a nuisance. As Ryan has no desire to test out his sea legs, and other people continue to be an everlasting, ever-confounding mystery he prefers not to puzzle out, the merchant life is not for him._

_Given his considerable lack of business savvy, and with the absence of any of those desirable connections (familial or otherwise) which would grant him a sizeable fortune, Ryan is left with only one option—one way to turn a real profit. Granted, it's very much outside the law, and on occasion has left him with injuries that might not have otherwise been sustained, had he been more careful, but it works._

 

ryden tangled au everyone!!

ryan is flynn (our ever-so-cynical orphaned thief), zack and brent are the stabbington brothers (those two dudes he betrays in the beginning after stealing the crown), brendon is rapunzel (except, like, instead of having magic hair, his voice itself is magic--it can heal wounds and sickness and slow time to an agonizing crawl), idk who gothel is we can make her an oc or something.

it plays out much like the movie except instead of corona the kingdom is summerlin (it's too perfect of a name) and instead of being the king and queen's firstborn brendon is their youngest.  other than that it's like the movie but with more snark and, y'know, more ryden.


	4. once a thief // leverage au (peterick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leverage is such a good show 11/10 recommend for good characters, good plot, and no shark-jumping
> 
> (bonus: it's on Netflix!)
> 
> (un-bonus: only 5 seasons long rip)

_There's a man sitting beside Pete at the bar, heavyset and bald, dressed sharp in charcoal-gray suit and tie with shining black dress shoes and shifting, flinty eyes._

_"Excuse me," the man says, the words trembling from nervous, quivering lips like an unexpectedly answered prayer, "you're—you're Pete Wentz, right?"_

_Pete throws back a shot and signals the bartender for another. Questions beginning with **who** and  **what** and  **why**  bounce and rocket around his brain. He swirls his glass; amber liquid swishes, barely contained._

_"I think you know the answer," he says, gruff._

_"I need your help."_

 

pete's an alcoholic ex-insurance agent who lost his wife and child and is basically miserable until some corporate rando asks him to help him retrieve some stolen data or whatever by managing a team of criminals he's put together.  brendon or joe is the wiseass hacker, hayley's the slightly unhinged thief, and andy (or possibly frank idk) is the muscle.

they end up retrieving the data but it turns out the data was never stolen in the first place, so they were just committing a heist and rather than pay them, their client opted to kill them instead.  they escape before they can be blown to smithereens in an abandoned warehouse and pete decides to plot revenge with help from patrick, a con artist and one of the many criminals pete chased in his old job.

thus begins a series of glimpses into the lives of pete and patrick, criminals for justice (basically modern-day robin hoods, if robin hood was, like, filthy rich) and lovebirds who can't seem to get their shit together.  dallon's probably in this too cuz i love dallon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: so apparently they took Leverage off of Netflix rip :(
> 
> UPDATE: Leverage is on Amazon Prime!! go watch if you haven't already (or rewatch, bc why the fuck not)


	5. this skin i can do without // superhero au (multiship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sounds like one of those fics on LiveJournal that would be really popular and really well-written and have a whole expansive masterpost complete with backstory and deleted scenes and fanart and fanmixes and headcanons and everything but unfortunately I am but a simple child with no motivation, ongoing writer's block, and fairly limited Internet presence. (Oh well, I can dream.)
> 
> (I apologize for ripping off other ppl's fics I know some of the powers are the same but the plot is pretty different, I hope.)

_Only two days after announcing that Clandestine Industries would be closing its doors in a press conference held at City Hall, founder and director Pete Wentz was already inundated with offers for the agency's headquarters._

_The building, located on 5th Avenue, has housed the facilities of the nation's largest alliance of heroes for over eight years._

_"We haven't even officially shut down yet and already I'm getting ten million, twenty million-dollar bids from all these billionaires and real estate magnates," a disgruntled Wentz told reporters Sunday. "I wasn't aware we were worth so much. I don't care about the money...I have guys still packing up their offices, there's a [ton] of paperwork to fill out, resumes to put together—this isn't [some] big tech corporation where they just...march you out and trash your stuff when you're gone. I actually want my team to say goodbye with dignity, you know?"_

_Wentz's hopes for a dignified farewell may be easier said than done: for the past few years, heroes have been the subject of intense scrutiny, with increasing controversy surrounding everything from their public behavior, private identities, strained relationship with law enforcement and, most recently, clashes with the federal government. This past January Wentz came under fire after refusing to issue an apology to police forces on behalf of the agency after a heated confrontation between an officer and Serpentine, one of Clandestine's most provocative heroes, turned violent._

_"I stand by my morals and I stand by my guys," Wentz said. "Things got out of hand, but I believe a hundred percent that [Serpentine] was in the right."_

_Additional concerns have stemmed from collateral damage resulting from public battles and several ensuing civil suits that were eventually settled out of court._

_"This is not an attempt to force anyone into hiding," said Mayor Fallon on Tuesday. "The city would like to offer gratitude for what supers have done for us these past few decades, but I think we can all agree it's time for a change."_

_"Look, many of these guys—they don't know anything else," said Wentz on Sunday. "Clandestine is their home."_

_Wentz declined to comment on how the agency's dissolution would affect his relationship with his employees, including longtime working partner and best friend Breakdancer._

 

so pete's the director of clandestine industries which is the nation's largest alliance of superheroes (he's also psychic, but the public doesn't know that) but after a series of scandals, legal troubles, and clashes w/police and the govt (as well as internal turmoil re:  relationship drama and rising working tensions) he's forced to shut down the agency (and escalating incidents lead to congress passing the super dispersion act which basically forces all the supers into hiding anyway and also creates a huge stigma against people with superhuman powers).  he also cuts ties with his former colleagues and they move across different parts of the country and the world; pete remains isolated in town.

fast forward three and a half years and pete starts getting visions of patrick and other supers being hunted, captured and tortured; crime is at an all-time high but the city's trying to hide it bc the govt is being controlled by none other than arms dealer and crime boss shane morris...

shane wants to bring the supers out of hiding claiming goodwill but pete sees through his act and realizes shane plans on using the supers to terrorize the country and build his empire.  pete needs to stop him but he has no idea where anyone is anymore so he starts poking around underground forums and recruiting from town.

enter lynn gunn.

lynn is a teenager who can turn invisible, she used to idolize the supers until they were forced underground and now she's just trying to live a normal life but it turns out when things get rough her mind causes her powers to fluctuate and it's super-frustrating.  when pete shows up at her door the last thing she wants is to be thrust into the center of the action but alex and brian (and her mom) manage to convince her to join.

as of right now halsey has telekinesis and takes the whole "sudden superhero thing" in a lot more stride than lynn does.  they hit it off tho and it's cute.

joe can control electricity and has basically been maintaining/protecting the old clandestine headquarters from greedy landlords since they shut down.  andy has super-strength cuz i'm cliche, brendon can fly, hayley controls fire, spencer controls ice, idk what jon does yet, gabe probably does something cobra-related, somebody has super-speed idk who possibly dallon, ryan has mind control that shane enhances through some powerful steroid he got after breaking into some govt lab or whatever (ryan becomes shane's attack dog after leaving clandestine, he can suppress ppl's powers telepathically).

and last but not least:  patrick can control sonic waves.

so hijinks ensue and also angst and possibly action even though i suck at writing action but whatevs, i want this.  i want this so bad it hurts, man.

(and the gang does end up getting back together but nobody can find patrick for most of the fic and pete does his whole moping-over-patrick thing for a good 75% of it)


	6. with every touch you fixed them // burglar au (ryden)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is random af I apologize

_Brendon's not sure what's more pathetic: the fact that some guy on the Internet paid him two hundred bucks to steal back a PlayStation from an ex-boyfriend, or the fact that Brendon, being Brendon, somehow managed to fuck it up._

_It's not even like he got caught, either—he's never gotten caught. He's very good about not getting caught—he always picks an empty house and he always makes it out of there in fifteen minutes or less and he never makes a huge mess or leaves fingerprints or anything else that could incriminate him._

_No, this is even worse. He broke into the wrong house._

_(And, honestly, fuck these houses. Fuck these fucking quaint suburban neighborhoods and their quaint suburban sameness, as Dallon would say.)_

_(Not that Dallon would have anything to say about this particular situation—he has no idea about Brendon's... **other job.** )_

_Anyway, it turns out Brendon mixed up the address, and by the time he realized it he was fifteen miles from where he was supposed to be, in a house that not only has no PlayStation, but no video games of any kind to speak of. The TV isn't even plugged in—and actually, now that Brendon thinks about it, that might take the cake for most pathetic thing about this whole scenario._

_Well, whatever. Shit happens, right? So he screwed up. He might as well make some lemonade out of these lemons._

 

brendon breaks into ppl's houses!  (not really for himself it's more like ppl pay him to do it for like revenge and stuff but sometimes he gets cool things out of it)

anyway he breaks into ryan's house (probably on accident bc bren's a dork) and he's about to do his burglar thing except he stumbles upon ryan unconscious in the bathroom (drug overdose) and he's like shit i can't just let him die--

so he calls 911, effectively turns himself in for breaking and entering but ryan finds out in the hospital and ends up paying his bail.

and then it turns out they get along really well!  tho of course ryan's all like  _why do you break into ppl's houses_  and brendon's like  _lol i'm broke and i got fired from my old job_  but it's cute and stupid and whatever and brendon does, eventually, get an actual job.

(dallon is brendon's roommate)

(pete totally asks brendon to steal mikey's playstation)


	7. have some composure // theatre au (gen, brendon-centric)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short stupid thing feat. my attempts at humor

so brendon does tech theatre for the high school drama dept and they're all working on the school musical but on opening night the lead gets sick and the understudy's unavailable so pete (their dedicated stage manager) is all like:

"brendon can do it."

and brendon just freezes and looks up at him and is like "no i can't, what are you talking about."

pete's all, "c'mon, i've heard you sing."

brendon shakes his head and says, "but i can't  _act._ "

and ryan, without missing a beat, goes, "you act like i don't exist all the time."

*cue death glare from brendon, awkward glance from pete, laughter in the back from joe, and a piano riff from patrick*


	8. covered in the colors // art festival au (multiship)

it's one of those art festivals the city holds with food and music and street artists and people selling paintings and prints and jewelry and things?  and lynn has photo prints and sketches and she's got a booth next door to halsey who paints and stuff, and they're cute and shy and they compliment each other's work.  the festival takes place over the course of a weekend in the middle of august, and it's  _super_  hot so they're like  _hey let's go out for drinks so we don't die of heatstroke_  and they do, and it's cute, and  _yes._

meanwhile gerard's promoting his comic book and highkey dying in the heat (lol poor guy), but then frank comes to rescue him by distracting him with those portable fans and ice water and generally being a pain in the ass, but an endearing pain in the ass.

dallon's also in this and he's playing guitar at his own drawing booth ('cuz the man can  _draw,_  guys, he has a deviantart and everything), and ryden's probably around here somewhere, probably performing with presplit panic (which is alive and well in this universe shhhhh i can pretend).

but what about fall out boy, you ask?

turns out they have a gig at the festival!  and patrick's the first person to stop by halsey's booth and halsey is so  _thrilled._

and patrick's super-nice and adorable going through and complimenting all the paintings, and halsey's blushing super-hard, and meanwhile lynn's watching from next door like  _ugh i'm dying_ because of the heat, but also  _aww she's so cute she acts like she's never been complimented before aww..._

patrick's also suffering in the heat, but there's this piece he  _really really_ likes and he  _really really_  wants to buy it but goddamnit, he left his wallet in the car.   and then their gig is starting and he's like  _oh shit i gotta go sorry_  and halsey's like  _nah it's fine,_  but when patrick leaves she's disappointed because she  _really really_  wanted to sell something.

(but wait there's more)

because then pete shows up at halsey's booth and is like  _hey did a dude in a fedora come by here earlier,_  and halsey's like  _omg yeah he did_  and pete's like  _did he wanna buy anything?  what did he wanna buy,_ and halsey's like  _well he wanted this,_  and it's this really nice portrait of a girl at a piano or something music-inspired because we all know patrick loves his music.

so then pete's like  _i'll take it_ ,  _do you have change for a hundred_  and halsey's like  _wow ok,_  and pete's like  _never mind, keep the change, i'll just take the painting_ and long story short that's how halsey sells her first painting.  to a dorky, stupidly infatuated pete wentz.

and of course patrick stops by later and is super-disappointed when he finds out halsey sold his painting, and halsey feels bad and starts to explain herself, but then pete shows up and is like  _hey you'll never guess what i got you for christmas_  and patrick is like  _you asshole_ but he's blushing, and everything's okay and cute and there's probably a lot of pda, awww.

and yes, everyone is still hot and lowkey miserable but they're all in love so it doesn't matter.

the end.


	9. lookin' out for you, my darling // camp au (multiship)

(this is stupid and i'm probably never gonna write it but)

(hear me out)

bandom as camp counselors: patrick drowning in sunscreen and still getting burned, pete keeps getting in trouble by enabling the kids and forgetting to drink water, it's ten million fucking degrees in the woods, ryan hates the outdoors but got dragged into this anyway (also bc brendon and spencer wanted to do it, he's never been able to say no to them), hayley is the most enthusiastic! the fun one! the cool one! dallon is the ex-counselor who leveled up to adult supervisor but is still chill with the kidz (cringe). gerard's the medic bc it requires the least amount of direct exposure to sunlight, haha.

lynn and halsey and whoever else counts as "new bandom" are counselors-in-training and they have no idea wtf they're doing, but that's ok because neither does anyone else.

patrick has to sing on the bus because he has the best voice out of all the counselors. he hates it. (pete's the loudest but the kids hate it when he sings, so they all agreed patrick should be the leader of all the songs.)

brendon loves this shit! always singing the loudest (but he hates having to keep things rated g lol)

there's a lot of stress and ppl yelling at each other tbh and kids being cute but also annoying and as soon as the last bus pulls out on the last day every counselor basically loses it--shirts come off, lots of screaming and swearing, food fights, ppl probably make out behind the bathroom, there are hikes and love confessions and kisses under the stars and all that kind of stuff and there's probably a game of truth or dare in there somewhere, idk.

(half of this will probably be based on true stories lol)


	10. but only for you // hospital au (peterick)

(sidenote:  this could also be joetrick i'm just more comfortable writing peterick at the moment)

basically patrick needs a kidney.  don't ask me how or why, i could probably do the research and come up with something, but i'm lazy rn, so.  it could also be some other organ, just as long as it doesn't require anyone, like, dying, because yes i like angst but i don't like  _that_ much angst give me  _some_  credit here--

anyway patrick's been having health problems of some kind and then the doctor's like  _he needs a kidney_  so then the boys all kind of look at each other and then pete goes:

_he can have mine._

so then there's surgery shenanigans and patrick probably being a stubborn asshole all the way up to his surgery and honestly pete's probably loopy on morphine most of the time but when he's not he complains more than patrick, who's sick and tired and just kind of done.

(is this an excuse for me to write patrick in the hospital?  probably.)

 


	11. for a second your attention just belongs to me // band au (joetrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This honest-to-god came to me in a dream, I'm not kidding.

takes place post-hiatus idk exactly when but i'm thinking sometime between 2014 to last year.

basically:  it's soul punk's (3rd? 5th?) birthday.

they happen to be touring on that day and joe really really wants to do something to show how much he (and the other guys) appreciate patrick's solo work, because it was so poorly received by the critics.  he still remembers reading the infamous blog post (i'm not emo  _you're emo_ ) and every time he thinks about the "fans" who showed up just to shit on patrick he wants to throw something, but what does joe usually do when he wants to throw things?  he turns to his guitar.  and what better song for joe to show off on than"allie"?

(i mean he could just tweet out a thing but in this universe he's extra af)

he gathers pete and andy in a room while patrick's busy and tells them his idea.  pete agrees instantly, andy's hesitant because he knows how much patrick a) hates last-minute changes and being left out of things and b) is still kind of sensitive about soul punk's reception.  joe considers this and there's a lot of guilt and mixed emotions but eventually they come to an agreement.

they start practicing, and it's kind of a mess at first but they eventually start getting it, and joe and pete call up a bunch of patrick's accompanists from the soul punk tour to see if they can make it, and they keep having to hide it from patrick who keeps walking in on them being like  _what the fuck are you guys doing_ and they're like  _uhhhhhh nothing here have you tried this cookie it's a great cookie_  and joe listens to soul punk over and over trying to get the solo  _just_ right and there are a bunch of close calls.

the night before the show (probably in chicago, lbr) joe's listening to soul punk again, just taking everything in.  he's finished with "allie" and he thinks he's gotten it as close to perfection as he can (although not as perfect as patrick *cue fangirl  _awwwww-_ ing*) and he's nervous as shit and really close to a panic attack and he's about to turn off the stereo when "coast" comes on and instantly makes him feel better.  and then he's singing along and patrick walks in on him and joe's hella embarrassed but does a decent job of playing it off, there's an exchange where he tells patrick  _it's a good album, dude_  and patrick gets all blushy, aw.

then the big night comes and everyone's nervous as hell, they agreed to make it the second to last song before encore.  they finish whatever song comes first and then the opening chords to "allie" start playing and patrick is so, so confused, and the crowd's going wild and he's looking at the other guys like  _wtf is going on_ but they just keep playing and pete's grinning at him all stupid, and he's so stunned he doesn't even sing the first verse, but the crowd's all singing along and he finally comes in at the prechorus, a little shaky at first and then eventually full on soul punk-stump through the next verse.  he's fine until the bridge, when he basically loses his place in trying to figure out  _okay which one of you assholes fucked with the setlist_  but the crowd and joe are both singing their goddamn hearts out, pete's jumping around and andy's killing it and joe is the best backup vocalist you could have, he is just so  _into it._

they finish their set, joe's nervous because he thinks patrick's mad and patrick's still a little put off at first but then he envelops joe in this big famous stumphug™ and all is right with the world again.  there is probably tears and also kissing.  pete and andy probably walk in on them.  i am full of cliches.  happily ever after the end <3 <3

(bonus:  two months later patrick tweets out a damned things cover and everyone's heart fucking  _melts._ )


	12. the lovers, the dreamers, and me // variety show au (multiship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumb stupid thing inspired by [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/464935) fic, which is a thing of beauty.

(this is highkey based on the muppet show)

(don't judge me)

 

so the whole thing is pete's idea but patrick's the showrunner, because patrick's the closest thing to a kermit this show's got.  he's also musical director, and he's 30000% done with everyone, because everyone on this show is a fucking moron.  (except andy.  and joe.  and travie.  and hayley.  but yeah.  everyone else.)  pete's fozzie bc he's the one with all the bad ideas but he's also the host of the show, so he's kind of like kermit in that respect i guess?  (idk it's a muppet au.  don't judge me.)

brendon's basically scooter (the dude with the glasses who's kind of a nerd), basically meaning he gets hired as a gofer because his uncle owns the theater (and patrick's not looking forward to babysitting this kid, but it turns out brendon's got a hell of a voice even if his help isn't always appreciated, and they need money to pay for rent, so they need all the help they can get.  (patrick could do everything himself, but there's no way pete's letting him work himself to death, because a) he needs patrick and b) a cranky patrick is not a fun patrick.)

most everyone is a performer in some capacity.  gee works sets and costumes, ryan's in charge of costumes, joe and spencer switch off being stage manager, someone's running the cafeteria in the basement, etc.  there are shenanigans and hijinks.  performances go horribly wrong.  they get heckled and walked out on for all their weird experimentation at multiple points.  on their best days, they're amazing.  they're talented.  they bask in the glory of having multiple celebrity guest stars and there is probably drunken making out in the backstage area.

but then things start to go downhill and the show starts to fall apart and eventually after a five-season run fraught with difficulties, they must say their goodbyes and part ways.

(of course, things aren't always that simple.)

(cue foreclosure, some greedy asshole trying to buy up the property and a young fanboy (fangirl?) convincing pete and the others to start the show again)

(relationship drama ensues)

(patrick is the hardest one to convince)

(it all works out in the end)

(don't judge me i know i'm lame)


	13. pull away the world from me // vlogger/road trip au (peterick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanna write this one ugggggghhhhh

pete and patrick are youtubers (i know, ugh, but bear with me), patrick does music and shit and pete recites his slam poetry and also does a bunch of commentary on art and politics and movies and shit because that's his niche.  they're pretty big fans of each other and their fans have been pushing them to collab for awhile (they have kind of a large joint fanbase even before they start actually interacting), and even though circumstances beyond their control prevent either of them from travelling out-of-state (patrick's in chicago, pete's in la) they do interact a lot on twitter and social media, which eventually leads to them exchanging numbers and becoming close friends.  they start collabing long-distance, eventually meeting up at conventions and hanging out whenever they're in town.  patrick writes music for pete's words, pete constantly hypes up patrick's music and hooks him up with some of his contacts (cuz pete knows everyone, man, like,  _everyone_ ).

it's clear pete likes patrick and patrick likes pete.  both of them are pretty open about their sexuality, and the fans, of course, ship the ever-loving crap out of them.  patrick's concerned about long-distance tho and pete's really uncertain about relationships because, well,  _he kinda sucks at them._   but they remain good friends and see other ppl and try to pretend like they don't know the reason why none of their relationships seem to work out very well.  everything's fine.

then patrick gets sick.

like, really sick.

(you see where i'm going with this)

he has cancer and the news shakes a lot of people, but particularly pete, whose immediate response is to text patrick  _please tell me that was a prank or smthng fuck dude im so sorry_  and of course patrick's like still in shock or whatever so he's like  _it's fine just need time to process._

doesn't stop pete from worrying, of course.

the next few months are patrick making vlogs about his treatment.  they start out pretty optimistic but as he goes through chemo it's pretty obvious how his health has declined, and while fans start speculating and worrying over him like mother hens he keeps a brave face for the public but starts venting to pete over the phone.  at one point they skype and patrick breaks down and goes  _i can't do it i can't do it, fuck it hurts so **much**  pete i can't do it it  **hurts**._

and pete's heart cracks and he's trying to be reassuring but fuck, he doesn't know what to do.

things take a turn for the worse, patrick comes down with an infection in the hospital and he needs surgery of some kind; travie's posting updates on his condition from his twitter but they're pretty bleak and everyone's freaking out, social media gets flooded with support banners and prayers and fanmade get-well videos and throughout all of this pete is just so, so overwhelmed because he knows, more than the fans, how much patrick's suffering.

patrick's surgery is scheduled for sometime in december; he has to spend christmas and new year in the hospital and that's if he makes it.

this goes one of two ways:

i. pete flies out to chicago to visit patrick.  there are delays and cancellations and problematic weather, but he makes it.

ii. pete can't fly out to chicago for whatever reason (bad weather, no flights available, too expensive), but he's not just gonna sit there while patrick's cooped up, so he packs his bags and (at their behest) brings joe and andy along with him and they drive to chicago, and it's bittersweet because pete's caught between having fun and worrying over patrick, and just all around being an anxious wreck about the whole thing.  they run into traffic and trouble along the way but they make it just in time to spend christmas with patrick.

either way patrick drifts in and out of consciousness and when he wakes up and finally sees pete he's still very weak but he grips pete's hand with all his strength and pete fucking  _loses_  it.

so pete spends time with patrick and eventually patrick's well enough to go home and some days are better than others and he's worried about being a burden, and pete's worried about being too much, but they push through it.

patrick goes into remission.

they announce it via livestream and at the end, right when patrick's about to switch the camera off, pete proposes.

needless to say, the fans break the internet.

(all their friends tweet their congrats and #congratspeterick trends on twitter and it's great)

(somewhere my self-insert is in the middle of all this sobbing her goddamn heart out)


	14. lost and found out // band au (joetrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off [this](http://maniacardigan.tumblr.com/image/165784901188) tweet
> 
> Will probably be set in the Allie-verse because I'm a sucker for continuity.

so the boys are in japan.  i've never been to japan which would probably hinder me greatly in writing this, but oh well, that's why we have google.

anyway this would just be the boys running around japan being cute stupid tourists and also cute stupid in love (but depending on the timeline possibly not willing to admit it??  depending on whether or not this is set before the allie fic) and, well, getting lost.  getting found.  probably hitting up sanrio store and buying each other plushies.  romantic walk in a tea garden.  and then drinking too many coffees.  (or teas, in patrick's case?  idk)

(also featuring food-porn descriptions of japanese food because i enjoy torturing myself)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this was short


	15. semi-sweet // high school AU (peterick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to homecoming last night and the DJ played "It's Everyday Bro" I am officially dead inside

(somewhat based on actual events)

(i put peterick but honestly idk)

patrick somehow gets roped into volunteering at his school's chocolate festival.  he doesn't even like chocolate.

 _i don't even like chocolate,_  he tells pete.  pete just punches his shoulder and says,  _take one for the senior class, patrick, we need that money for disneyland,_  which is kind of bullshit because most of the money they make from the festival doesn't even go toward their senior class trip but whatever.

so patrick ends up scooping ice cream or something and every time someone asks him about chocolate or the ice cream he just wrinkles his nose and says  _i don't actually like chocolate_  and halfway through his shift he's already done with people giving him weird looks when he says he doesn't like chocolate.

after his shift pete drags him around and tries to get him to eat stuff, to no avail.  patrick does buy pete a whole container of fudge, on the condition that he a) doesn't make a mess in the car when he eats it and b) doesn't shove it down patrick's throat.

i would totally incorporate the other boys in here but i have no idea what to do with either of them; joe probs ends up stuck with door duty or childcare and pleads with the others to bail him out without success (and i could totally do joetrick or smthng around that, if i had the time/motivation/energy/whatever).

(brendon probably just bounces around eating candy while ryan and spencer trail behind looking extraordinarily tired)


	16. stepping out with a star (the great bandom caper) // caper au (brencer)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you don't want to do English homework and you have too many ideas

_The long and short of it is, they’re fucked._

_They screwed up, they know that much.  Spencer knows it, and if he was one for assigning blame (which he isn’t—not since he got this job, anyway), Ryan would be the obvious choice, partly because he’s the only one out of the three of them who really seemed invested in that stupid festival-parade-thingy and partly because, well, he’s hilarious when he’s getting scapegoated._

_Point is, they’re fucked.  It doesn’t matter whether Spencer or Ryan or Jon or all three of them take the blame, they’re still irredeemably and completely fucked._

_“How could you miss a story like that?!” their editor’s screaming at them, face red as he paces behind his massive desk.  Spencer winces; beside him, Jon tenses.  Ryan’s face is blank, but his fists are clenched; his skin looks stark white against the burgundy of his scarf.  “It was literally right under your noses!”_

 

(...uh)

(this is highkey inspired by the great muppet caper)

(don't judge me it's a good movie and you should all watch it)

(anyway)

as a shipper i prefer ryden, but tbh this would probably work better with brencer, so i put brencer.

the gist of this is that spencer and ryan are reporters who fail to cover a mugging that happened literally in plain sight within a few blocks from them.  it would've been a regular mugging except the victim was socialite ashlee simpson-wentz (who also happens to be married to former playboy and current billionaire fashion mogul pete wentz).  in an effort to redeem themselves, spence and ryan end up going to chicago with jon, their photographer (subject to change, the movie takes place in london) to get the full story.

they stay at this crappy run-down hotel managed by patrick and inhabited by most of bandom, all of whom are absolutely bonkers in some way and usually high.  it's not the best of accommodations but the paper wouldn't cover their lodging, so they make do with what they have.

brendon, meanwhile, is an aspiring designer and ashlee's long-suffering personal assistant or something.  by some strange turn of events ryan/spencer confuses him with pete or something, so he ends up running along with it (bc spencer's pretty hot and he doesn't want to lose him by being a lowly personal assistant/secretary or whatever).  they end up talking and getting to know each other, sneaking around pete's mansion and whatever (brendon trying to cover up the fact that he's not actually pete wentz!  hijinks ensue), and brendon's totally in love with spencer and spencer's kind of falling for brendon (except, y'know, he thinks brendon is pete and pete is married), god someone help these poor boys...

meanwhile over at the hotel (which has some tangled business history with pete's father, but we won't go there) things are heating up, ryan and jon might have a thing for each other, joe might be hopelessly in love with patrick, all this mushy romantic stuff--plus someone trashed the wentzes' mansion and left, like, dead rats and shit on ashlee's windowsill (just short of death threats...may or may not be inspired by all the shit that went down with dallon and breezy last week).  so the boys have their hands pretty full, but it's ok bc spencer gets to see brendon and then get his fashion sense needlessly roasted to hell and back by ryan and jon when he asks brendon out on a date.

while out to dinner at some swanky restaurant (paid for by brendon, using pete's credit card number or something idk) brendon ends up getting recognized by pete and then ashlee basically gets attacked in the bathroom creating a huge distraction and spencer tries to chase after brendon but brendon's already gone (out the backdoor...hehe).

pissed and sad, spencer spends a day or two wallowing while ryan and jon figure things out (bc they're actually good journalists, they just suck at timing) and eventually goes on a walk to clear his mind (read:  gets kicked out bc ryan's sick of his moping)...where he runs into brendon.  brendon tries to play it off but spencer confronts him and then he explains, ashamed.  spencer doesn't  _quite_  forgive him but grudgingly says they could still be friends.

so they start talking again but like, shit hits the fan and brendon gets accused of basically stalking, threatening, and attempting to kill the wentzes so he could take control of the corporation somehow.  he's arrested and thrown in jail but he didn't do it and spencer doesn't think there was any way he could've done it but so far the evidence points to him, and then spencer ends up enlisting half the hotel's help in trying to prove brendon's innocence--all the while falling in love (again) with brendon.

everything turns out in the end, of course.


End file.
